[	mood	|	stressed	]
[	music	|	All The People That You Know	]

And then you bring me home. Afraid to find out that you’re alone.

And I don't understand all the things you've seen but I'm slipping inbetween you and your big dreams. It's always you, in my big dreams.

And I was sure you'd follow through, the world was turned so blue. And you'd hide your songs or die. So i'd hide yours with mine. All my words were bound to fail, but I know you won't fail. See I can tell.

I can't hide the fact that I've relied on you like yellow does on blue.

On the right hand she had a tattoo of a nude girl, she claimed it was what god resembled. But on the left she had a mirrored image of the same female and this one she explained, looked like the devil.

Cause it's all been done and it's all been said, we're the coolest kids and we'll take what we can get.

Maybe you're gunna be the one that saves me.

Looks like trouble on a rainy day. Holes uncovered, walls will crumble, all spells trouble on a rainy day.

Everyone's saying different things to me, everyone's saying different things to me.

And from your lips she drew the hallelujah.

Hollywood glamourized my wrath, I'm a young urban physcopath. I incite murder, for your entertainment. Cause I needed the money, what's your excuse? The joke's on you.

And there was hope in me that I could take you there, but damn, you’re so young. Well I don’t think I care.

The neon hurt inside your phone call.

********************************************************************************

I'm really worried about her. I'm thinking about everything. Above are the lines that mean the most to me, right now. And then you'd bring me home cause we both know what it's like to be alone. I said something last night while I was talking, about a puzzle. About how everything weaves in and out. It made more sense to me than anything has ever made sense. About how sometimes you're like, this is NOT what it said it was going to be on the box, but it is. You have all the right pieces, you just have to find the ones that fit. I think I found a piece of that puzzle.

[	mood	|	tirrred.	]
[	music	|	San Fransisco: Vanessa Carlton	]

What is amazing? Never knowing my summer would be like this, or feel like I, am indeed, growing up. It's abby's birthday today! Oh  how I love her soo much. I am so protective, and thoughtful, and have so much love for her. I'm going to be seventeen, and summer is at it's midpoint. I don't know where it will go. I have a lot of love for people. The people that I care about, I care hard about. Truth be told, I am soo tied. But we are going to Valleyfair. And somehow I can't find any underwear?? It is really about time I  go to Victoria's Secret. It is also about time I go uniform shopping. Junior, I will be a Junior. Shit son, when'd that happen? Okay I better pack. Love <3

[

mood

|

calm

]

tears stream down your face

when you lose something you cannot replace

tears stream down your face

tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from your mistakes

tears stream down your face

lights will guide you home

and ignite your bones

and I will try

To fix You.

[	mood	|	exhausted and sore	]
[	music	|	In Other Words: Ben Kweller	]

tonight wasn't anything like i thought it would be. Sometimes I guess it all just falls apart at the most unsual times. Like at the times when you are sure it is fine, and your just caught in your mind, in your world in your thoughts, and that it kind of comes undone. So we ended up on my floor, me crying, and to be honest I haven't cried that hard in front of people since I was younger. But then again, they've seen me cry before, they are the only ones I can cry in front of. After some time we were laughing again, and bringing me back up in the way where I feel like I'm thirteen again, and as complicated as life is, it isn't...that complicated. After everything there are only about three people in the entire world I can cry in front of, who know me, the real me. I know people make assumptions, I know people talk about me, and I'm not trying to say that to be arrogant or stuck up. I know it because I've heard, or people have told me. But little do people know, I am crazy, and I love Star Wars, and I design clothes endlessly, and write stories in a little brown book that I carry around in my purse, or that I am perfectly most content sitting in my living room watching star wars dvds with my two best and oldest friends in the entire world making inside jokes, or making up a language that we have. I miss Emily tonight though, sometimes I feel like a little piece of the puzzle is missing, when she isn't here, or off doing what she finds fun now. I think I need to be more honest now, and this new school year (god as much as I don't want to think a bout school.) I want to be me, fully. I want to be honest. But I can't think of that now. I know that I have people who care about me, deeply, and who need me, and I need them more than anything. It all connects. I am full tonight, of laughter, of tears, of sadness and joy. Jenny would tease me and call this emoness. I guess I am having a bit of a "Perks of Being a Wallflower" moment. I crave freedom, sanity, clarity. I crave and want so much, but tonight I just have the love. Tonight I feel small, like I used to sometimes when I would make myself vunerable. A really little girl, in a really big world.

[	mood	|	Excited	]
[	music	|	The Only Living Boy in New York	]

I really don't have any clever words, I've been having a lot of fun. And I was listening to the Garden State soundtrack and it reminded me of the other night, when we were playing this song, with some friends I never get to see, and we were all singing along. I am so glad it's the four of us again. It's the way it was meant to  be, and always will be. I sometimes wonder, why we all just click? Then I realized we click because we are each other. We grew up and grew together, the four of us each representing something completely unique that just creates the best thing ever. If I continued to write down everything else I've been doing it would probably take up pages, I don't want to jynx the...summer magic.   God, and then there are some things that could be completely de nada (which i know doesn't mean what i think it does in spanish but i'm using it anyways...my french habits RARELY come in useful especially when seducing the mexican men at chipotle, what am I talking about?! we get free shit all the time!!) but i still feel something exciting, very exciting. But this weekend, I'm missing one of the bigger social events to retreat up to my lake home with the family, (mmm not the best idea) it may well leave me tan and rested, no doubt it will be stressful though. Okay. I need to shower.

"Do you ever get that feeling when you're looking into someone's eyes that this song is playing?"

"Yes, I guess?...whoa that's terrifyingly romantic."